Motivation by Challenge

I was talking to a friend a couple of weeks ago about my plans for when my book comes out. I shared with her that in two and a half years I would be a full time speaker and workshop leader and would leave my current job. She said to me, “Bob, there is no way you are going to leave the security of your present job to become a speaker. No way.” Now normally if you were to tell me this story, my knee jerk reaction would be this person is a naysayer, and should be immediately removed from your social environment.

Naysayers can rob you of your motivation by making you question your successability, your confidence in your competence. What was funny about this exchange, however, was that her comment did not have that impact on me. To the contrary I considered it a challenge. In fact I immediately made a small poster, writing on it only, “The Challenge” and taped it over my desk, my physical environment. Every day when I sit down to work, it motivates me.

As I sat down at my key board to write this blog entry, I came up with several other examples of how naysayers with their negative comments had motivated me to push even harder. I recall how when I mentioned to a fellow lawyer that I was working on my Masters in Education, his comment was to the effect, “That’s your goal today. What are you going to come up with tomorrow?” Not that there was much doubt in my mind that I was going to continue working on my degree (even when they cut the funding for tuition payments) but if there had been, that challenge would have played a role in keeping me marching onward.

In one Glazer Kennedy marketing group meeting I was in the hot seat. I explained what I was doing and what my goals were, public speaking and workshop leading, and some issues I was facing. Next was feedback from the group. One guy suggested I try out public speaking first, before I dove into it, because I wasn’t at all dynamic. He said he had been answering emails as I was talking, that’s how unengaging I was. Didn’t this clown know I had been in Toastmasters for over ten years, in fact was a Distinguished Toastmaster and yes, had even been paid to teach public speaking? If he did, he wasn’t particularly impressed. I was externally gracious, especially since I knew I hadn’t been particularly dynamic in my presentation. But inside I was angry, and swore that this guy would eat his words. In retrospect I realize he taught me an important lesson: I am always selling myself and my products. There is never a good time to get sloppy.

So how does motivation by challenge fit into the M=f(V,S,E) model?

The “E”, environment, is the obvious one. This person is in your social environment, and will impact your motivation.

But the challenge also relates to the vision, because most often the challenge is directed at your vision. “You will never become a full time speaker; you’re not good enough,” or “you’re not motivated enough,” or “you’re not engaging.” But the stronger you are connected to your vision, the more worthwhile it is to you, the more likely you will hear such negative words as a motivating challenge rather than demotivating truth.

The challenge also relates to your successability, because if you accept the negative words, it will detrimentally impact your confidence in your competence.

As intentional man, we control how we respond to these negative words. Sure, we can let them gnaw at us and make us unmotivated. But we are so much better off when we respond to them as a challenge, and use them to fuel us to work even harder to achieve our dreams.

The Parable on Self Motivation

My favorite story from the bible is the parable of the sower. It tells of a farmer who goes out to the fields to sow his seeds. As he sowed, some of the seed fell on the wayside, and the birds ate it. Others fell into the weeds, and the weeds grew up around the young spouts and choked them. Some fell on a rock where there was no moisture so the seed withered away. Only the seed that fell on good, fertile soil yielded strong healthy plants.

There are many things I can learn from this parable, as from most parables, which is probably one reason why teachers, like Jesus, used parables to teach.

When I read it, I see the farmer as God, who gives each of us so many wonderful gifts, our seeds. Some of us are given musical talent, some athletic talent, others artistic talent, and others the ability to write. But just because we are given a gift doesn’t mean we have accepted it. Though some of us became aware of our gift early in our life, others of us never get in touch with it. If you aren’t aware of your gift, it’s hard to accept it. But even those who are aware of their gifts frequently reject them outright, or don’t take the steps they need to take to fully utilize their gifts.

It is these gifts that I referring to when I write and speak about the vision.

If we don’t know what our vision is, what gifts we have been given, what our potentials are, we need to discover them. Knowing why you are here will give your life so much more meaning. The vision quest will start you on that path of discovery.

The second thing I learn from this parable is that like those seeds I can only grow in the right environment. If I associate with people who have no interest in fulfilling their potential, nor in me fulfilling mine, I will be like those seeds that fall on the wayside and are eating by birds. If I work in a physical environment that detracts from my ability to manifest my vision, I will be like the seeds that fall onto the rock, where there was no moisture, and the seed withered away.

On the other hand, if I do things to make my environment positive, like surround myself with people who encourage me and who serve as positive role models for the path I have chosen, or take steps to learn skills I need to have to manifest as my vision, I will have guaranteed that my seeds have fallen on fertile soil and are growing into strong, healthy plants.

Here’s a short, simple prayer I use based upon this parable: God, make me fertile soil for the seeds of your overwhelming abundance.

Why not spend some time today thinking about the gifts that you have been given, and thinking of ways you can be fertile soil for these these wonderful seeds.

No man can walk down two paths

Successability, the second factor of self motivation, means confidence in your competence. The model for self motivation tells us that the more confident you are in your abilities, the more motivated you will be. There are two ways you can use this information to increase your motivation. The first is by doing things that will increase your confidence. The second is by not doing those things that decrease your confidence.

A great way for you to increase your confidence is by simply being successful, experiencing success. The expectancy value theory tells us a person will be motivated to undertake activities for which the person has a positive expectancy for success.

One thing that most people agree on is that if you spread yourself too thin, if you get involved in too many projects, you may have trouble being successful in any of them. This has been a lesson I have had to learn over and over again. Some might say I am easily distracted, but I prefer to see myself as simply curious, extremely curious. I am fascinated by so many different things. I actually pursue relatively few of them, but when I do pursue one, I take my pursuit seriously. My most recent pursuit was teaching myself options trading. Options trading is complicated. It’s also a dangerous pursuit if you haven’t educated yourself thoroughly. The most dangerous thing about it for me, however, was that I found teaching myself options trading took time away from what I knew I wanted as my primary pursuit, becoming the expert on self motivation.

Knowing what my primary pursuit is keeps me from squandering my time on other pursuits, and makes me more successful in my primary one. Guess how I know what my primary pursuit is? You’re right if you said it's my vision. My vision is what is most important to me. I very carefully and critically look at how I am spending my time. If I am spending time on pursuits that I need to spend on my vision, I need to get back on track.

I don’t mean to suggest that we all need to have one-track lives. My life should not be just about becoming the expert on self motivation. But becoming that expert has to be a priority in order for it to happen. So I spend some time on my photography, but I’ve stopped teaching myself options trading, I no longer study classical guitar, and no longer build stained glass windows.

I know myself well enough to know I will fall off the wagon again, and start on yet another fascinating pursuit. It’s who I am. But as intentional man, I also know I will eventually see the pursuit is taking up time that I need to spend on my vision. I worked hard to find my vision, and because it is my vision, I know it will motivate me to get back up on the wagon and start spending my time on my true path.

Do you find there are just too many fascinating things going on all the time? How do you keep focused on your true path? Please share with me and the other readers what you do to keep going on your path, by leaving a comment.