Select, don't settle

Back in the 60’s Barney’s New York, at that time a clothing store, ran an advertising campaign based on the slogan, Select, don’t settle. The advice rings just as true today as it did then.

Too often we settle on less than what we truly want. We may create good reasons for doing it. Maybe we settled on a job that offered us security, even though the work didn’t excite us. Some of us have accepted a position, “temporarily”, while we are looking for the perfect position, but after a couple of years we stopped looking. Or maybe we settled on a particular relationship, not because we loved the other person, but because we felt comfortable around that person.

Look at the definition of the word settle and you will see why this is a problem: "a gradual sinking to a lower level.” That’s exactly what we do when we settle, we accept something less than what we are capable of, or something less than we want and feel we deserve.

Settling like this adversely impacts your motivation because it robs you of your opportunity to have a worthwhile pursuit. According to the model for self motivation, the more worthwhile your pursuit is, the more motivated you will be. The converse is just as true, the less worthwhile your pursuit is, the less motivated you will be. Settling means you are doing something that is not as worthwhile as what you could be doing.

Settling seldom involves taking a risk; we certainly don’t risk not getting it; it’s already in the bag. Selecting, on the other hand, generally means taking a risk. Maybe we won’t get it; and then we will be disappointed or embarrassed. Maybe we will get it, but won’t like it. Or maybe we won’t be successful once we do get it. Selecting, rather than settling, is risky.

But taking a risk is necessary if we want to have the optimum life, to live life to the fullest.

Do you really want to cheat yourself out of a fulfilling life? When you think you might be settling, ask yourself, “How close to the target do I want to stand?” If you find yourself standing right on top of the target, so there is no way you can miss, make a commitment to go after what you really want, with gusto. Make a promise to yourself, in the words of Ken Christian, author of Your Own Worst Enemy, Breaking the Habit of Adult Underachievement, to “consciously aspire to a higher standard, one worthy of your possibilities, in everything you do.”