Overcoming a defeatist attitude. Part 1

Your confidence in your competence, what is called your successability, plays a large part in how motivated you are. If there is a particular goal you desire, but in your heart of hearts you feel that you will not be able to achieve it, you will not be motivated to go after it. It follows, of course, if you don’t go after it, you guarantee you will not achieve it.

When we face such a situation, wanting something but not believing we are capable of getting it, are we caught in a no-win situation? Luckily, we are not. There is a strategy we can use to extricate ourselves from the unpleasantness of the situation. The strategy is called overcoming a defeatist attitude. With this strategy and a little bit of work, we can restore our self confidence, and become motivated to move forward toward our dreams.

Encouraging someone to “be more confident” isn’t very helpful, is it? What they need are specific tasks, behaviors, they can do that will result it them being more confident. This strategy will give you exactly that.

The first step is to identify those things that make you feel you will not succeed at your goal. Do you lack certain skills, skills you feel you need to achieve your goal? Do you lack the contacts you feel are necessary to succeed?

Do this step by brainstorming. Though brainstorming is usually thought of as being done by a group, research has shown that brainstorming is more effective for individuals. In this situation what it means is non-critically thinking of answers to the question, “What do I think will prevent me from achieving my goal?” or “What things will I need to do to get me to the place so I can achieve my goal?”

Try not to think of the issue as how you are deficient as a person, but rather as in what way you have not yet grown so as to be confident in this situation. In other words, the focus will be not on your deficits, but rather on what you can do to help yourself. Non-critically means we just list the things that pop into our mind when we ask the question. We don’t judge our answers, nor do we judge ourselves. We are merely gathering information.

Take some time with this very important first step. Only by identifying specifically what is making you lack confidence can you move forward and remedy the situation.

Once you have identified those things that are adversely impacting your confidence, the next step is to come up with actions that will counter those things.

In my next blog post, on Wednesday, I will provide you with guidance in coming up with the actions you can take to increase your confidence in your competence, and get you moving once again toward your dreams.